Oral Survey #40

By Raia Fink

Date: Sun, 4 Jan 1998 21:26:08 -0500 (EST)
Subject: ye must be born again (into ORAL SURVEY)-John 3:7

Note: here's the deal. I'm already going to hell. I'm allowed to practice
rapid and abundant blasphemy. Besides, I think its a compliment to
the establishment of Christianity that I include it (but not its
morals) in my ORAL SURVEYS. And besides, some goatsucker stole my
bike whilst I was away. If I ever catch the fissured asshole that
did it, it'll tidily complete my accomplished resumee of the seven
deadly sins. (that would be murder, the final frontier.) enjoy.

ORAL SURVEY: Answer the following questions aloud.

Part: time

1. Once a lackey, always:

a) an lackey
b) cursed by five o'clock shadow
c) a chainsaw toting bike-theif killer
d) approximately misspelled

2. Who is the quintessentially raptured craven?

a) Danny Boy
b) the man
c) vintage
d) shrapnel
e) Cotton Eyed Joe

3. The most promising childrens' book is:

a) about Tom's Harry Dick. run dick run!!!
b) about twelve pages long
c) an artistic compilation of butter stains
d) Horton Hears a Who
e) Horton Hires a Ho

4. Compile a list of Carmen Sandiego's V.I.L.E henchmen.

5. And while we're on the subject, what does V.I.L.E stand for?

6. And speaking of vile, has anyone seen my roommate lately?

7. Pick an appealing wise statement from those listed below.

(this does not include the life de-struction hint)
a) A rotten apple falls close to the tree
b) Yo mama don't wear no socks; a ding-dong
c) Warm beer is skunk
d) This product causes tumors in laboratory animals
e) Research causes tumors in laboratory animals

8. What of it?

9. Why are we so blind to see that the ones we hurt are you and me?

Thank you for participating in ORAL SURVEY. Please come again.
#286 "Walk tall, carry a big stick, and use it."
--Life's Little De-struction Book

Previous | Index | Next