Oral Survey #85

By Raia Fink

Date: Tue, 13 Apr 1999 19:27:17 -0400 (EDT)
Subject: ORAL SURVEY w/faux fur

ORAL SURVEY: answer the following questions aloud

Part: 1 of 1, the lousy muppet sex FAQ edition

1. Which of the following muppets involved themselves in the notorious 'Muppetgate' sex scandal

a) Oscar the Grouch
b) all of the teletubbies, especially that gay one
c) Snuffalupagus
d) Grover
e) Super-Grover (ribbed for your pleasure)

2. Should mandatory jail time be issued for illicit sex acts involving fake fur, bicycle horns, googly eyes, or polyfill stuffing?

3. What are the sticks attacjed to the muppets' hands _really_ for?

a) lambasting
b) practice
c) sodomy
d) dancing

4. Describe grover's penis

a) muppets don't have genetalia
b) just like boober fraggle's, but blue
c) uncut
d) hung like a muppet at 3/4 scale

5. Are Earnie and Bert life partners? or are they mutually into sheep? or both? or perhaps they're asexual...

6. The Sweedish Chef got his culinary degree from _________, but _________ is the creator of Crispy Critters cereal.

a) UCONN, C. Everett Koop
b) MIT, General Mills
c) Vanderbilt, Ghandi
d) Iceland, Chewbacca tha Wookie

7. Choose the likeliest components for a fun-filled getaway:

a) lubriderm lotion, radar the teddy, tic-tacs, and Tickle-me-Elmo
b) a tandem bike, Ms. Piggy, Fabio, and the glandular secretions of the lac-lac beetle
c) Kermit's chromasomes, Mr. Ed, mitosis, miosis, clevage, blastula, and a brick
d) a stopwatch, The Count, two muffin tins, and a virtual environment

8. Why didn't Kermit ever hook up with Ms. Piggy?

a) he's a frog, not a horny toad
b) he prefers the other, other white meat
c) he's never me The Feebles
d) Ms. Piggy is generally replsive to all species

Thank you for participating in ORAL SURVEY. Please come again.

only one other ORAL SURVEY had a theme, and you can find it at: http://www.trica.com/os/
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